ESL Lesson Plan

Concerning your friendly student. I am a male teacher and I used to be invited to my students' homes but I would never allow them to come to mine. I never went to a female student's home. A female teacher may go to a female student's home but it is rather naive to go to a male student's home and any students arriving at the doorstep, should be told, in no uncertain terms, to go away. Especially, if it is a male student, going to a female teacher's home. It may be embarrassing to tell a student, not to come again, after he has been coming to the teacher's home for some considerable time, but he has to be told that circumstances have now changed and it is not now convenient for him to call. It would have been better if the rules had been made clear at the beginning of the classes, so that there can be no misunderstanding.

I just had to laugh while I was reading yout post. I so comprehend what you feel! At the moment I am teaching Masters' students in China, oral English, in which the situation is very similar to yours - over friendly students. It is even more difficult for me however, as I am a female teacher who has just graduated from University in Australia. As a result, the postgraduate students i teach are either my age or even older than me. The advantage is that I can develop a good rapport with them, however the disadvantage is that they all want to be my friend. In most cases, I am extremely happy to develop a friendship with them. However there have been a few which have really tested my tolerance level. I am already extremely clear and strict with my principles - no.1 I do not go out/ eat out alone with male students (this is not only due to respect to my BF but also for my own safety and to avoid any unecessary trouble), no.2 Male students are definitely not welcome at my apartment.

So far the female students have been great and I really enjoy getting to know them. However, I have a certain male student who makes it quite obvious that he wants to be more than friends - despite the fact that I continually go on about my BF! Most students in China are rather conservative, so the good thing is that they will not invite themselves to my apartment. Luckily this male student hasn't either. The one mistake I may have made though is giving the students my cell phone number when they asked for it. As a result, I was at one stage bombarded with SMS, particularly from this student! There were also many dinner and lunch invites - in which i did go to once at a restaurant, together with another female restaurant, the rest I declined. Particularly as i found out later that this student wanted a bit more than friendship. It got to a point that i blunty told the student that the invites could not go on anymore - particularly because i already have a BF etc. From his response, I don't think this student understood.

Later on I found out that there are many young people in China between the age of 20-30 who couldn't care less if you already have a partner or even if you are married! They believe that they still have that one percent chance with you. For many of the students, it is a ticket to freedom - that they may get a chance to go overseas. They also admire foreigners. (I am sure that this is the case not only in China but also elsewhere in the world). Which explains the persistence of this male student. I have heard that the female students come on even stronger however! So male teachers beware!

Of course there are those who are genunie and pure in their friendship, but there are also many who are otherwise.

As for the male student, I have started to ignore his messages and I am definite I will not give him any opportunities to develop his intentions. I've found that the ignoring works - I just have to think of what to say next when I see him......

I think you are being rather naive. I'm sure he appreciates the free English practice, but teenage boys visiting their older female teachers do not just want to be "friends". I'm sure you have been professional in your behavior, so he probably realizes that there isn't any hope for what he really wants, but you need to put a stop to this...pronto. Please forgive me for being so blunt.

I agree with Kenneth. Inviting either a male or female student to your home is not a good idea. As you have already experienced.

In any case,we should treat all students equally. If one is allowed to visit why isn't another. Students talk and gossip to each other. They know what is going on. Favoring one and not another will cause friction in the classroom.

I am a popular teacher. My students are always asking to visit me, to have my phone number or e-mail address. I always decline by explaining that it wouldn't be fair because I would have to give my address and phone number to everyone else. It's not practical. They accept my explanation without a problem.

I love teaching, but when Í'm free I want to relax and enjoy thinking about and doing things unrelated to my work. This way I am always fresh and eager to teach.

Hope this helps.

I enjoyed reading your stuff. Cool site. Naked truth: http://johnedithnotes.blogspot.com/2005/10/slatecom.html , 1 small clove garlic

thanks god i found you guys ,i`m a non native speaker who teaches English one of my students is pushing me to go uot , what can i do ?
i don`t wanna hurt him?