ESL Lesson Plan

I never thought the likes of The Onion would come to ESL.

Patricia Dean's excerpt from her latest newsletter [here] about robots replacing teachers in the ESL classroom got me to thinking about R2D2 and C3P0 and in a sidelink on "droids" I saw on my Alexa toolbar [available here], I came across this absolutely hilarious new(?) website that pokes fun at our industry. After all the serious talk that's been going about lately, I figured this is just what the industry needed: a satirical approach to what we do. Have these guys gone too far though? Here's an excerpt from the page on "teaching":

"As every teacher knows, but Directors of Studies have long forgotten, we English language teachers are in the entertainment business. Anyone who really wants to learn a language saves a lot of time, hassle and money by buying a book and taking it home and reading it.

So why do people come to expensive English classes?

* Their parents or boss made them.
* They are too lazy to study at home.
* They have nothing else to do on Monday and Wednesday evenings.
* They wouldn't mind shagging a native English-speaker or another student (or both).
* They still believe that by turning up to English lessons twice a week they will somehow master the language.

In these circumstances your priorities are as follows:

1. Keep the students amused.
2. Keep the DOS off your back.
3. Give everybody concerned the impression that the students' English is improving."

Sounds a lot like the type of talk that goes on everyday in ESL-Jobs-Forum anyway!

The creator of this site, who itself claims to be a robot named Glotolog X513, has another interesting feature called "the Devil's dictionary." Here are a few samplings from the "revised" glossary of words from our nomenclature:

"academe, n. An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught.
academy, n. [from academe] A modern school where football is taught.

(and)

English, n. a language unsuitable for international communication and excruciating to learn or teach.
droid, n. a human-like robot that performs mechanical, repetitive tasks."

Which explains the reasoning underlying the title of the website: englishdroid.com

If you need a laugh, check it out. It's worth a visit for the pics alone (I just love it when photo-shoppers marry the "incompatible" elements of the Star Wars and Star Trek universes, lol)

Have fun and let me know what you think about this robotic blasphemy.

As ever,

Michelle